Tomorrow marks an official end to my maternity leave. I can’t believe how quickly the last 11 months have flown. I can’t believe I’m now a mummy and I can’t believe I now have a daughter. Further still, I can’t believe I have been out of the office for 11 months and I can’t believe that I am actually going back tomorrow. I’m feeling ready for it, and im feeling prepared. Sort of. I don’t feel anxious about it, or excited or nervous. I don’t feel anything really. It all feels very calm and very surreal. But then so did being pregnant, and so did becoming a parent. It all just happens, and you get caught up in the moment, living it and experiencing it. Which captures perfectly how I’ve been feeling about life over the last few weeks. That it isn’t always grand gestures and it isn’t like a film. Life just happens. But it happens with perfect joie de vivre, and it is moments like these, the calm before the storm that I can take time to be still and reflect. Reflect on what an amazing 11 months I have experienced. Reflect on becoming a parent. Reflect on how much our family has grown. Reflect on the amazing family and friends we have. Reflect on how much fun the little lady and I have had. Reflect on how much love and joy I have in my heart. Reflect on how I have changed. Reflect on how I have grown and reflect on the exciting journey ahead. I think that it is this looking forward to our future, that has put me at such ease about going back to work tomorrow. Because I cant wait to see what this next chapter of our lives holds.
But for now, I probably need to focus on getting through the first day, so I have prepared in earnest after a rather disastrous practice run a few weeks ago. All our bags are packed. Our outfits picked out. Lunch bags made (after a mammoth batch cooking session today). Nails painted. Alarm set. I just have to hope that I remember to pick up my handbag rather than the changing bag, that I don’t forget to put some perfume on for the first time since christmas, and that I can still remember how to walk straight in heels. Heres to hoping. Wish me luck!
photo credit: Melissakis, H. via photopin cc